Today I went to my local Primary School for a "3 year strategy Planning" meeting.  It was put out to all parents in the School (and there are around 200-250 families I believe), and only 7 mums turned up!  Yep - you could count them on 2 hands.... 7!  Just SEVEN!

I couldn't believe it!  I know it was 2.30pm, so the timing might have meant some were at work, but I also know for a fact that there are more than 7 non-working parents at the School as well.

Wouldn't you think that something like that would be important to anyone with kids under year 6 this year?  I mean unless your child is leaving the School at the end of 2014 then your child would be effected by what is planned for the school in the next 3 years!!!

I was just really disheartened and saddened for the School, teachers and principal.  They were trying to do the right thing by including the community in the planning process, so how disappointing and discouraging would it have been for them to see only 7 faces in the hall?

And I can promise you one thing - there will be more than 7 parents that make complaints in the next 3 years about the School programming, that's for sure. 

Anyway, that's my rant for today.  If you agree, or have an opinion on this topic - feel free to comment!  I'd love to hear from you.

#parenting #parent #school #publicschool

I learnt something today.

After two weeks fighting with my daughter over her costume for the school book parade, and her sticking to her guns and not being swayed from the idea of going as a marshmallow, I learnt that she is a very strong, confident little girl.  She's not shy as I had always thought. She's not scared of what people think which her mum can be sometimes. And she knows her mind, which is something we always try to develop in our kids but never quite know how we do it.

I was so nervous for her coming in to today. Her costume was 'strange' to say the least, and to be honest my biggest fear for her was that she would be totally ridiculed by the other kids for looking ridiculous.  But you know what? None of that happened.  She knew it wouldn't, she had faith in her friends, and she knew she could take their comments on board and have any nasty ones run off her like water off a ducks back.  She was perfectly ok with it all.

It was me that had the problem.

And why, I wonder? Why was I so scared for her? Why did I try to force her to conform and tone down her individuality?
Because I do? Perhaps.
Or to protect her from what I have experienced as a tough, unkind world where kids are concerned?

Who knows.

But all I do know is that I'm proud of her, proud of her strength of character and conviction and proud of myself a little too for stepping back and letting us both learn from is experience.
Who knows, next year might even be a happy book week-dress up experience..... But we'll see.

Here's my thought for today...

Tomorrow is the school Book Week parade!! And can I just tell you, I hated them when I was a kid at school, and I hate them even more as a parent.

My daughter is going as a marshmallow.  Why? I hear you ask. Well her friend is going as a princess and between them they decided they would go as "A princess and her marshmallow".... I mean seriously, what is that? It's not a book, but could we sway her thinking? NO WAY!

So we have spent two weeks arguing over it, till I left it to my husband and daughter to make something.... And oh dear.  They have made something but I'm just not sure it's good. In fact I'm not even convinced it looks like anything at all, let alone a giant marshmallow.

But how do I tell her that?  How do I tell her I'm really worried that she will be teased and ridiculed tomorrow? How do I break her little heart? I've tried doing the "I'm your mum and it's better I tell you than your friends at school", but all that did was start another fight over it, and we both ended up in tears!

So Ive come to the conclusion there's really nothing I can do except change my own thinking. Stop putting my insecurities on to her, as she loves her outfit and thinks it's great!
I have to change my own mindset.  Let her go with it, and then just be there for her in case it all turns sour tomorrow.  She really did have fun making it with Daddy, so I'm going with that for now.

Fingers crossed it will go well, but I can promise you I won't be sleeping soundly till it's over!!

And that's what this mum really thinks right now.... What about you?

Hello again,

Yep.... another year or so has past and I just haven't updated this blog.  I guess you can't really call me a "blogger", that's for sure.  I'm much better with Facebook, and a little better as a "Twit" (so to speak), but blogging really doesn't seem to be my thing.

It's a wonder it's not.  I write a diary every night, and have done for more than 3 years now, (as my daughter gave me a diary one year for Xmas so I had to use it, and, well, it's just stuck, and I love it) so you'd think Blogging would really suite me.... but alas.... I simply don't remember about doing it.

But now, due to the total blogging excitement from a close friend, I'm back... and it will be really interesting to see if I get any "followers", or after a less than exciting re-introduction like that, whether I get absolutely nothing and am really only typing to myself.

Anyway, back to the blog.... and to "what mum's REALLY think....."

When I started this blog my kids were younger, obviously, and I thought doing this would help other mothers reduce their "guilt" about being a parent of young kids.  I mean, you read so many self-help or best-practice-child-rearing books when they're young (if you're anything like me), and you do try to do everything they tell you to, but in reality, what you do is what you feel is right for your kids and your family, and if that doesn't follow all the rules, then so be it. (And you feel guilty about it, of course).

But you know what?  In the long run - that's ok!!!  As long as you are doing your best and have your families heart, mind and best interests in the forefront of your intentions, then how can anyone tell you you're doing the wrong thing?

This page was aimed at sharing stories of my parenting experiences, and to hear comments and stories from my followers (that sounds so belittling... I prefer "readers" I think) but I must admit - I haven't actually ever had any comments or feedback on this blog, and yes, I did create it years ago. Perhaps if I was to add more more often then mybe, even just once, I could put the word out there to the universe, see what happens, and see if there really is someone just like me who is learning how to parent my children using the "trial/error" method.

If that's you, feel free to talk to me.  It would be great to get this blog up and interesting again so I continue to interact and contribute..... as that's all it's really about for mums, isn't it?  Contributing to our family, our friends and the community around us.  As without those things, where would we really be?

Anyway, that's what this mum really thinks today..... what do you think?

It's been a while....

Wow! I can't believe it's been sooooo long since I last posted a blog.... If that's the correct phrase to use these days.

I guess I've been busy in the last two years - New job, new school friends, new interests in technology, and new corners to turn in my every-expanding career.

I will have to make sure I try to keep this more up to date, so make sure you follow me and this blog so we can all chat....

Come with me mums, dads, everyone, and perhaps we'll learn together "what mums really think"!

A

it's been a while

You know what drives me totally crazy...... 4 days of my daughter not doing anything I ask her the first time.

I mean, I know kids pushing the boundaries at home is a sign of comfort and trust that home is a safe place to test life's boundaries, but really - 4 days without doing ANYTHING the first time I ask!!!

And she wonders why I get cranky......

Oh dear.....

Good luck everyone - and my your kids ears work better than mine at the moment!!!  lol

Tooth fairy

Can you believe it?  My daughter lost her first tooth yesterday..... wobbly one moment, out the next!
It was very exciting.... and the tiniest tooth you've ever seen!
Luckily the tooth fairy doesn't pay by size, otherwise we'd have needed 1c coins back!
$5 seemed to going rate from fairies though...... and although she originally wanted $50, I think she was happy with $5.  ha ha.
Congratulations my darling, very grown up, girl!

It's been a while

It's been a while since I've updated this blog.... life's been busy.
Actually, I've been doing a course on Tuesday nights at the local Community Health Centre, about emotional training for kids.  It's been really interesting, and totally changed the way we interact with our two little darlings.
I didn't realise that I didn't do it, before it was broken down and explained to me in detail..... and I realised that I really didn't do much with their emmotions.  I was very quick to just "dismiss" their emotion, or say "it's alright", without getting their side of the storey.  Without finding out the reason for the emmotions they're showing. 
For example - if they're having a tantrum.... why is that?  What are they upset about and why are they so upset?  What's happened to trigger the emotion? 
And to be honest, it's really nice to be talking about it.  Not only have I learnt a lot more about my kids, but it's helped with hubby as well! 
So all in all it's been a great 5 weeks, life-changing you could say, and I look forward to the future with emotionally stable kids (and husband).........
So goodluck with it, and if you have the chance to do the "tuning into kids" course, I can strongly recommend it!
Enjoy the long weekend everyone and remember - if you wouldn't speak to an adult in that tone, you shouldn't use it on your kids!

No more trying threes

Tomorrow my son turns 4.  He's sooooo excited about it - he's been inviting people to his party before we had even planned on him having a party!!!
And I'm looking forward to it too.  3 didn't suite him in the early days, but as he's been getting closer he's been growing up in leaps and bounds.  I'm actually really looking forward to having a 4yr old boy in the house.... so I'll keep you posted as to how it goes.
Happy birthday for tomorrow my beautiful boy, and to all those other mums out there who have made it to 4, well done - we all deserve a pat on the back!

Ohhh, aren't they cute

A friend came over today and we were looking back at old photos of her twin babies..... and it was really special to remember how tiny and fragile our children are when they come into the world.  So reliant on us for everything they need.  So unknowing of what adventures they will experience in their lives.  So precious.

I think sometimes as mums it's good to look back at where our kids came from and who we thought they were when they first entered this world - makes the day-to-day strains of fighting about food, toys, getting dressed, baths, etc seem to trivial.

When really, as long as we're loving, caring, feeding, and nurturing our kids they really will grow up every day and become the wonderful people they are supposed to be.

We may help them grow, learn, love, but we can't control it for them.  In the end they must learn to grown on their own - and maybe oneday hold a precious newborn in their own arms and think "what will this life hold?"

Love is.....

Sometimes when you're yelling at your kids, don't you just feel like stopping and giving them a BIG HUG?
I do.
So today I wrote in their diaries:

I love you.
That's all
Love Mum

I hadn't been yelling at them or anything, I just wanted to let them know that while neither of them were home I still though of them with love.

Because I think sometimes we forget to tell them, and our partners, enough.

Welcome home

I've decided mums are funny creatures.  We love "getting out" without the kids, yet we're always thinking of them, talking about them or buying things for them when while we're gone.
And the best thing about not having them with us?  Is when they come home - the smiles they give, the open arms they have, and the wonderful stories about their "adventures" while you've been gone (or they've been gone).
Precious and perfect.

A quiet weekend

Us mums always love our time with our kids (well, ok, maybe not always.... but we wouldn't change being mums for the World), but sometimes it's also realy nice to have a weekend without the hubby and kids.  And that's what I'm having this weekend.  A nice, quiet, "alone-time" weekend.

Mind you, having said that I had a dinner with friends last night, and today I did 2 Zumba classes, watched 2 episodes of my favourite soapy from last week, and enjoyed an early movie and dinner with one of my best friends tonight.  So all in all there hasn't really been much "alone-time", but it's been a really nice, enjoyable time.

Don't get me wrong, after I tidy and unpack the study tomorrow (the last job on my "want to do this weekend" list) I'll be very happy to welcome them home.... but now, having wrapped all my son's b'day presents while watching tv, I'm having a nice time. 

And a happy mum..... well everyone benefits!

So, I hope you've all had a lovely weekend and if you feel like telling me about it - feel free.

Tuning in to kids

Last night I started a new 8 week course called "Tuning in to kids".  It's about emotional intelligence in our kids, so I think it's going to be interesting...... and certainly a "learning" experience for me, as I really don't pay much attention to their emotions - that is unless they're kicking and screaming, which I must say, luckily, isn't too often.

I think it's certainly going to encourage me to address their emotions when they show them, so that will be a good thing, as altough I'm a pretty emotion person myself, I don't really "do" other people's emotions very well.  I mean hey, I can listen to a friend in need, no worries, but as far as my husband and kids and the everyday emotions they show.... everyday..... yeh - not so good at doing that!

So - if you know anything about emotional intelligence, or can give me some handy hints, let me know.... I'd love to hear from you!

Enjoy.

Happy Mothers Day

Mother's Day is a funny celebration... it's when the family try their hardest to make you "relax" and "enjoy" being with them..... but when they try so hard is it actually better?  Or do you just expect great things and then get disappointed when the day isn't "perfect"?

And if it's not an ideal day for you as a "mum" - then you start to question what kind of "mum" you really are on all the other days of the year.

You know what I think?  I think we should just enjoy our families every day and celebrate the luck we have being loved by our husbands and our beautiful children every day.

So - having said that - Happy Mothers Day to all those mums out there - and I hope you all had a wonderful, very special day!

Time

You know what I think a lot of the problem is these days - we don't give our kids time.  They have activities, they have toys, they have friends over...... but when do they get to just play?  And when do we make time to just play with them.  No plans - just a day at home to play.  Their games. Their rules. Their personality.

I took the time to do that today, with my son.  And I haven't laughed so much in a very long time.  I think at one stage we were both crying with laughter.

I think I'll do that tomorrow with my darling girl.  We need to reconnect since school went back.  It's only been a week, but oh how we miss time together after spending 16 days camping with just our family. 

So make time to play.  It's all kids really want, truth be known.

I know why mums are mad....

Yep - I've figured it out..... why all mums feel crazy (well, this one does anyway, and I"m sure I"m not alon).

Try this for an hour....

"Morning darling - you have an hour till School, so you need to get dressed, finish your spelling list, read your home reader to me, and eat breakfast so daddy can get you to dancing on time"

Please eat.  Please get dressed.  Please finish your homework.  And where's your reader?

Ok, you really need to finish your b'fast - you've had half an hour - it's only 2 pieces of toast, after all...... then finish homework and get dressed...... I don't think you want to go to School in your PJs.  You can read your book to daddy in the car.

Right, b'fast is over.  That's it, bad luck.  You've had long enough.  Homework now please.

Now, get dressed or do your homework.  I don't care which, just choose one.  NOW!

That's it, you're going to School in your PJs.  Put whatever homework you've done into your School bag you can explain why it's not done to your teacher.

GET DRESSED - You've got 7 mins till Daddy leaves.... and if you want to go to dancing at School you need to go with Daddy, as I'm not taking you.

HAIR. IT'S FRIDAY - WHERE'S YOUR LIBRARY BOOK?  GET IN THE CAR!

STOP SCREAMING - I don't have time to be gentle with your hair - you left it too late I can't play silly games or you go to School with a mop on your head!  STAND STILL!

Right - Get in the car! Go.  Just go."


And that was this morning in our house....... ARGH!!!  It's not even 8am!

Let's hope your morning was calmer than mine!

I love it.  You feel like this, and a councilor says "if you don't like harping, then just don't do it.  Just don't harp and if they go to School in their PJs with messy hair and no homework, so be it.  Bet they won't do it again!"
Easier said than done, I'm afraid!  But food for thought.

So proud

You know when you have one of those days when you watch your kids try their best, and although they don't win (in this case their 100m race at their athletics carnival), you are just so proud of them for trying their best that you want to BURST?

Well, watching my daughter running in your race today made me feel that way!  And you know what - I'll tell her I'm so proud of her; I'll tell her what a great job she did; I'll tell her it was great to see how hard she tried..... and she'll feel great - but never really know just how proud I am!  Yeh, yeh mum, whatever....

So I thought I'd let all of you know.  I couldn't have been a prouder mum today, and although there were no ribbons awarded - she won the heart of the audience, she got the biggest cheer, and her little legs ran at 100 miles an hour down that sports track! 

Well done my darling Girl - I love you!

Sweet memories

It's funny how when you're a parent you realise how little your parents knew about being parents, as you yourself really know nothing.... but you do your best and hope that it's enough.

In March I went to an INXS concert in Canberra.  As those who know me would know - I have loved INXS for as long as any of us can remember, and they were just as brilliant this time, minus Michael, as they were 25yrs ago when I screamed and sang my way through my first concert of theirs!

But this time I was OLD.  Mind you..... I didn't act like it!  It was great - I felt 16 again.... only my neck, back and ears hurt a lot more the next day than they did the first time!!!  D'oh.

Anyway, why am I writing about INXS on a Mums blogg?  Well, it just made me feel great - to really let go, and I realised how "stayed" I have become. 

As a mum you feel like you always have to "behave", so you set a good example.... but you know what - sometimes it really is fun to just "be".  In my "day-to-day-mum-life" I behave around School mums, I behave around in-laws, I behave around my kids, I at work....... so it was really nice to just "be".

Although I went to the concert with a really close friend, she was in a back brace, so enjoyed the concert in her own, calm way..... but I couldn't resist.  There were only a few thousand people there so I shot straight down the front, 2 rows from the stage, front and centre!  It was perfect, and an opportunity I couldn't resist!  And of course my friend understood - gotta luv her!!!

Anyway - it meant that I was there, virtually alone, so I could just "be".  Just be me.  I sang. I jumped around like a crazy person. I screamed. And I sang some more!  At one point I got hot, took off my top (with another one underneath......), and even thought about throwing it up onto the stage!!!  (But didn't, cause I like that particular top - and hey, what were they going to do with it anyway.....)....

The point is - I felt FREE!  No rules, no restrictions, no "must behave", just free to be silly, have fun and enjoy the night!!!  And I did.

So - to all those mums that are feeling "confined" and "restricted"......
Think of me and BE FREE!!!

Let's start chatting

Hi other mums.... and those that have a mum or want to be a mum.....
This is the first blog I've done, but I bought a book the other day about things that you'd really like to know as a mum but no-one ever told you..... and it got me thinking..... what would I like my daughter to know about being a mum that no-one ever told me?    So, here goes.... and I'd love to hear your comments on this too.....

When you become a mum you change.  Your outlook on life totally changes - not just your priorities, but your strength, your self-belief, your relationships with friends and family..... everything.

Yeh, people tell you things will change.... but you don't believe them.  It's like when you get married.  People tell you to enjoy and relax on your wedding day because it goes by too fast, but until it's over you can't believe just how quickly that "passes" comment really is!

Anyway - just a thought.... how things change - your relationships with your partner, your parents, your life-long friends..... it all changes.  And you know what - although you're the common element in the equation - it's not just you that changes.... it's all those around you too.

Good luck with it.....